New Friends

I was happy; I had a good job, a great boyfriend and some close friends all of which were gay like me. While this had its benefits, my particular group of gay buddies loved drama and gossip, which I found quite boring and tiresome. Our lunches and nights out were always dominated by whatever scandalous thing someone we kind of knew had done and I really just could not  give a rats ass,  I mean who cares if Bobby flirted with Carl last night?

It was during another dinner date where my friends had started talking trash about some guy who hadn’t texted one of them back, that I made my wish. I had gone to the bathroom to get away for a while and as I washed my hands I wondered if straight guys had similar conversations. I let out small chuckle thinking about some of the monster guys at the gym complaining about another guy’s slutty outfit, naa that’s not their style. Then just under my breath as I was just about to leave I whispered

 ”I wish I had straight friends”

Unfortunately for me I wasn’t alone in the bathroom; sitting in one of the stalls was a magical being that loved mischief – a Trickster.  He pounced on my thoughtless wish as quick as lightning, before I knew it I was engulfed in green smoke and I fell unconscious.

I woke up to a loud muffled honking sound which was followed by a terrible smell, as I opened my eyes I saw the two pale ass cheeks and little hairy arsehole. I was stunned, too stunned to move when another rank fart was blasted into my face, I rolled away and was surrounded by laughter.

Two guys across the room had filmed the whole thing and were cracking up, the guy that had farted then grabbed my hand and helped me up off the floor. “Dude you are the best guy to prank, that look on your face when I farted was hilarious” I was red with embarrassment as I hurried to escape and managed to shut myself in a room. I was still trying to make sense of it all, this wasn’t my home and who were these guys, but for some reason the room I was in seemed familiar. As I looked I saw my possessions and clothes, what were they doing here? I grabbed my phone to call for help but none of the contacts seemed familiar, what was going on. It was then I heard a voice seemingly coming from nowhere.

“Enjoy your new straight friend’s hahaha”

A wisp of green smoke then left out of my new bedroom window and something in my brain clicked, I think my wish was granted.

So now I live in a sweaty, smelly apartment with Chad, Hunter and Joey, three straight guys that love nothing more than talking about hot chicks, the gains they’re making at the gym and how big their last dump was.  Plus I could do without all the “pranks” they pull on me; I mean Chad can clear a room with one of his protein farts. It’s horrible, but for some reason I can never leave them for too long and I feel obliged to do stuff with them, it seems they’re my new friends from now on. Well I’m off to the gym with Chad now; maybe it will be better when it’s just one on one? 

Or not…